Saturday, November 24, 2007

Peter Griffin


Lois: Peter, did you paste a new picture of yourself on our wedding picture?
Peter: Yeah I think it looks better.
Lois: You pasted it over me.
Peter: Yeah I think it looks better.


Peter: Can't we tell them that your mother died?
Lois: Peter, I'm not gonna lie about something like that.
Peter: All right, all right, I'll kill your mother.


Peter: Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness, Star Trek was here first.
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Peter: I'd like to propose a toast to our neighbors. Sure they might be black, handicapped, and a heartless sex hound, but hey, if they moved out some smelly Hawaiians might move in.


Peter: Alright here's a riddle, a mother has two children, and an axe murderer says she can keep one. Which one does she let die?
Lois: Peter, that's not a joke, that's just horrible!
Peter: Wrong the ugly one!


Peter: I've got an idea! An idea so smart that my head would explode if I even began to know what I'm talking about.


Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!


Peter: What are you gonna make me do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? 'Cause I'm married.



Peter: Hey Lois, can you grab me a beer?...Lois?
Chris: Dad, I think she went out.
Peter: Alright then you be Lois.
Chris: Okay.
Peter: Hey Lois, can you get me a be...oh my God, you've really let yourself go!
Chris: Well maybe if you bought me some nice clothes once in a while!

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